Traveling By My Damn Self: My First (and hopefully not last) Blogpost
Travel is something that people talk about, but I don’t think people understand what it means – I don’t understand either to be honest. I’m about to embark on a trip around the world with no good end date in sight.
I’m mortified.
I’ve wanted to “travel the world” since I was a preteen. There used to be a channel called “Current” on cable, I think it was created by Al Gore, that explored different cultures from through a Generation X/Older Millennial lens. There’d be little vignettes throughout the day that spoke on various issues around the world, and the people that affected them. I would watch these videos and think, “I wanna do that,” then I’d day “I’m going to do that.” Most people didn’t believe me, but fuck the haters. About 7 months ago, I was lying in my bed considering taking a trip to Japan for my 25th birthday. I’ve always been a bit of a weaboo, and it seemed like the most appropriate thing for me to do. As I lied there, I thought, “well, since I’m going to be in Tokyo, I might as well go to Kyoto and Osaka. And while I’m over THERE I might as well go to South Korea.” Then it hit me, I might as well travel the whole fucking world, cuz why not?
I want to answer the big question first, “How can you afford this?” That’s a lovely question that I'm going to answer in length in another post, but for now know that I’m not a trust fund baby, and my mother isn’t funding this out of her retirement. I worked for a tech startup for a couple of years and made pennies BUT they did give me a good amount of stock. I wish I could say that I planned all this out early on, but I honestly took the first job that could get me out of my mother’s house in Chicago and back in St. Louis where I went to school – it just so happens that I hit the jackpot so to speak. In short, niggas got a decent amount of stock and I can’t take it with me when I die.
This all feels rather surreal to be honest. My trip starts in two weeks and I don’t think that the reality of my travels have hit me. I’ve studied abroad before, but this is different. I’m not traveling with a group on a predetermined destination. I’m not traveling because I need the credits. I’m not traveling with people that have a vested interest in my wellbeing. I’m traveling alone, black, and occasionally outwardly queer, in a world that will at best see me as a novelty, and worst see me as a threat. Now I don’t wish to say that I expect to be mistreated by everyone, everywhere I go, but I’m generally aware of how the outside world may view black Americans through their consumption of media. I expect to be met with fear and hostility. I expect to be seen as a minstrel (I just know people will continually ask me to rap/dance/coon). I expect people to try to take my picture against my wishes. I expect people to try to touch hair. I expect surprised delight. I expect surprised scorn. I expect for many people to deny my Americanness. I expect for my humanity to not be validated until I demand so. It’s not something that I wish for, but I can’t expect to change the thoughts of others (well not so easily).
Yet.
I do expect to be challenged and intrigued. I expect for my world view to be opened and hopefully to open someone else’s. I hope that I can find something in the world that I can’t find on my couch in St. Louis. I hope to find a more complete me. <—- I’ve never felt more like a basic white woman in my entire life.
The world is such a large place, yet it's never been more interconnected and I can only see this trip going poorly from a couple of different points:
I get overseas and act a damn fool and end up dead.
I get overseas and only amount to watching Netflix in exotic locations.
I get overseas, have a slight to significant breakdown and come back home after three days.
I learn A LOT about the world and myself, but I document nothing.
I do the most and end up in a Cambodian jail, and lord knows y'all not gone come find me.
Now that I've gotten the negativity out of the way, I honestly think this will be a great thing for me. I know that me taking a trip like this isn't the norm for humanity, and especially not for a gay black guy from the Westside of Chicago from a regular middle class family. I want to see if I can learn something about the world and maybe expand on thoughts people already have. Like I said, this isn't my first time living abroad, but this is my first time doing so outside of school. I'm on my own with this one, but hopefully people will read this blog and I can find comfort in my seen humanity.
I don't know what this blog will be. I'll try to write about my travels, my thoughts on a variety of issues, some poetry that I've been trying my hand at, and maybe I'll post some photos of the things that I do. That being said:
This is NOT a travel blog.
This is a personal blog written by a guy that just so happens to be traveling the world. I don't know what that means yet, but there it is. (watch all I do is post food photos and humble brag).
I haven't the slightest clue what I'm getting into, but I think it will be worth it in the long run - just promise to donate to my go fund me page if I get kidnapped.
