Why I Don't (usually) Mind The Stares I Get In Asia

China is a large and beautiful country. It has a rich and deep history and some of the best food in the whole world, but what it doesn’t have is a lot of black people. Outside of the major coastal cities, I’m willing to bet that 80% of Chinese people have never once laid eyes on anyone that wasn’t Chinese and that 95% of them have never seen a black person. As an American, it can be difficult to fathom that the rest of the world doesn’t have the same levels of diversity as we do, but it’s the truth.

One of the biggest questions I get from my peers is “how do I manage to keep sane when you have dozens of people staring at you while simply walking down the street,” and to be honest, at first it was absolutely mortifying. I recall my first time in Beijing when a group of Chinese tourists literally ran up to me to ask for a picture. Initially I said no, but I was feeling special that day so I agreed. This never happened in Shanghai, but Shanghai is much more international than Beijing. When I decided to travel to the Chinese countryside to visit some famous mountains, I knew that I would have more eyes on me than Britney Spears in 2008, but I told myself that it was par for the course – and it was.

While in rural Anhui Province and the Yellow Mountain or Huangshan (黄山), people would look at me like their life depended on it. It was rather unnerving, but the mountain was breathtaking. When I was planning my trip to China I initially left off both Huangshan and Tianmen Mountain/Wulingyuan because being gawked at is tiring. I often joked that I could never get abducted because someone’s always looking at me. Two things got me over the hump and on my way: 

1.     Black (and brown) women. At the sight of even the slightest curvature in a young girl’s body, many adult men will go out their way to make their gaze known. While this is a problem in every community, I’ve seen this behavior first hand and its effects on young girls through my own eyes back in Chicago. Most of these girls were either black or brown and many were either frightened or annoyed at the harassment they received on the streets yet they had to carry on with their studies, their relationships and their interests as if it wasn’t happening. Looking back at it, I am astounded at how many do so well in spite of having to live under that pressure. I rationaled that if these young girls and women can put up with years of unwanted looks then I can put up with it for a few weeks.

2.     I’m here to stare at them. One of the stark realizations that I had to come to terms with is that I am the relatively wealthy foreigner that traveled to do Chinese activities, eat Chinese food, and look at Chinese people act differently than Americans. Saying it aloud is weird, but at the end of the day, that’s what most tourism is. I think that many places are ok with this foreign inspired relationship because it’s mutually beneficial but for people it can absolutely be jarring for an outsider to simply show up in your town and demand access to your culture. Likewise, I think that it may be American/Western hubris to think that one can travel to a foreign land and not be treated as a foreigner. The people of these mountain towns are usually used to Asian tourists and the occasional European backpacker, but not a young black American with a head full of semi-combed hair. I think it’s only natural that people stare a bit.

I’m of the school that people will usually treat you well if you act appropriately. Of course this is not always the case, but I can only control my actions. One action in particular is me going to foreign lands where I know black people don’t frequent. Yes, sometimes people will hate you because of where you’re from or what you look at, but most simply don’t have the free time or energy to focus on making your trip unpleasant – however don’t be surprised if they want a picture of you to show their friends.